Q. I’m a working mom whose 85-year-old mother depends on my care. I have brothers and a sister in town, but no one else pitches in to help me. I’m exhausted and becoming resentful toward my siblings. How can I get them to understand my point of view?
The care of senior loved ones can create plenty of awkward situations for families. That’s why ongoing communication is vital to keeping family relationships positive and to maintain your health.
Following are tips, from the National Alliance for Caregiving (NAC), that can help you get started:
- Sit down with a family member in person or find a quiet time to talk on the phone.
- Review the list of your loved one’s needs.
- Discuss areas in which you think they could help.
- Ask them if they would like to participate.
- Inquire whether they would like to help out in a particular area.
- Clearly explain the tasks and what they could do to help.
- Make sure they understand exactly what would be helpful for you as well as your loved one.
Here’s an example of a conversation you could have with another family member: “Jane, I’m having trouble finding time to do everything I need to do to take care of mom. I could really use some help with the cooking, watching her when I have to go pick up the kids from school, and doing errands. If you would be willing, I think you could help with the errands since you live nearby and pass the shopping center on your way home from work. Do you think you would be able to help out in this way?”
If you find you still need additional help, consider hiring someone to assist you. You can hire a CAREGiver from Home Instead Senior Care for as few as three hours a week and up to 24 hours a day, every day, to assist your mom with various non-medical tasks.
For more information or to get answers to your questions, please contact your Home Instead Senior Care office serving The Greater Boise, Idaho area. You can also reach us via email at elizabeth.britton@homeinstead.com.
